A reflection on vocational identitiy...

As I am narrowing in on my final two months in Indiana (for real this time!) and the conclusion of my life as a seminarian I have found myself reflecting on the journey that has brought me to where I am today. Someone recently asked me if I were to do it all over again if I would make the same decisions? At points along this journey I would have answered that question with a resounding, "Absolutely not!" However, I am at a place right now where I am beginning to see how this journey is like a labyrinth - one path with many twists and turns but no dead ends. Each step that I take builds on the last.

When I began university nine years ago I never imagined that almost ten years later I would be adding the letters, M.Div., behind my name. When I started at Canadian Mennonite University I planned to complete a Bachelor of Arts degree, majoring in psychology, which I did in 2006. Near the end of my time at CMU I felt compelled to train as a labour doula which led me to a summer practicum with Pregnancy and Family Support Services. I immediately embarked on further studies, starting an M.A. in Counselling Psychology at Providence Theological Seminary. I felt at home in the field of psychology and knew that vocationally I was headed toward something in the caregiving field. Throughout my time at CMU and Prov. I felt myself developing my identity as a therapist. This identity started to shift when Carrie and I both began sensing the call to study at AMBS. 21 credit hours into my degree at Prov. I knew there were some incongruencies between me and the program, but I also wondered what I would be sacrificing by switching not only schools but degree programs - from an M.A. to M.Div.

I made the step in faith. Though it has not always been easy, throughout my three years at AMBS my vocational identity has shifted from one primarily defined as "therapist" to a growing sense of authority and service as "minister." I have never felt called to congregational pastoral work (at least not in the traditional sense), but have had the opportunity to explore the realms of healthcare chaplaincy, pastoral counselling, and spiritual direction. This past year, however, as I embarked on the new venture of Gestalt Pastoral Care training I came to realize that this is what brings it all together for me. One of the greatest gifts I received this past year from my GPC training group was their affirmation of me as minister. Among a group of social workers and therapists, I was one of the few trainees coming from an explicitly pastoral perspective. So when they called on me to serve Communion, offer a call to worship, lead the morning devotional, or write the closing liturgy for our final meeting together they called me as minister and I responded out of that role. As I allow myself to grow further and further into who God has called me to be as minister, I realize that none of my former training or experiences are lost. Even the "therapist" part of me is not lost, but rather integrated in a new way. My background in psychology, my training as a doula, and my experience in the field of spiritual care - all of these things together make me the minister I am today.

Thanks be to God!